You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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