I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
