she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
