i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
