if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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