i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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