Banned from zoo.
Again?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
