dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
