I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
