You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
