Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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