The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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