I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
