best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize