If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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