Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
