I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Barsexuality is the new black.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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