I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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