we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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