I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
