Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
