Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So much Jack, so little girl.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
