you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
