Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
