home. puking in laundry basket.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
