He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
