just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
