They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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