The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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