Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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