I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
