I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
