My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
