i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
