totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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