Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
