I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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