Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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