i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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