they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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