It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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