I can text with my tongue
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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