careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
