walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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