walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
