Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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