So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
