So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
