At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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