That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
