So drunk its hurt
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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