Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
