I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
